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Collaborative Divorce

The unthinkable has happened- you or your spouse decided to pursue a divorce. Now what? It’s time for a long, contentious slog in court with fighting, bickering, and hefty fees, right?

What if there was another way – private, non-adversarial, potentially less costly, and much better for your family as a whole? Going to court is not the only way to get through a divorce. In fact, there are a few ways to avoid costly court divorces. Let’s take a look at one of them – the Collaborative Divorce Process to see if it’s a right fit for you.

The “Frozen Benefits” Rule

In an effort to standardize benefit divisions and “simplify” military divorces, Congress enacted the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 (NDAA 17). The new rule applies to those service members still serving (active-duty, National Guard, or Reserves), divorced after December 23rd, 2016, and is known as the “Frozen Benefit Rule” … which made divorce much more complicated for all parties involved.

The Gray Divorce Podcast – Military Divorce with Special Guest David Smith (Lt. Col. ret.)

Military Divorce is a different creature than civilian divorce and has a particular set of rules and regulations, as might befit the military! On this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast Andrew Hatherley and I untangle the various rules and benefits that apply to couples in military divorce.

Divorce in the Military

If you’re a current or former member of the armed forces, chances are you’ve been trained for some of the most grueling and demanding situations out there. What that training doesn’t do, is prepare you for the challenges of a military divorce. Even for civilians,...

Top 3 Financial Strategies When Planning for Your Divorce

Divorce does screwy things to a person's head. Believe me, I’ve seen it. The once intelligent together person that you were, can turn into an emotional, brain-fogged, & unorganized basket case. You try really, really hard to keep it together, but you know this...

Three Serious Divorce Mistakes

Three Serious Divorce Settlement Mistakes  When you are facing a life changing transition such as divorce, what do you think you will find more valuable:  Someone to make you feel a little better by hinting that nothing has to change, or someone who will give it to...

The Mediation Option For Divorce & How to Prepare

Most people facing any day in front of a Judge in Court, would avoid it if they could. When going through divorce, that urge is just as strong.

Steps To Take Before You “Finally” Decide To Divorce

Almost every relationship begins with that “giddy” period of falling in love, imagining a long life together with your spouse, maybe having a couple of children together, and perhaps even a pet to round out the happy loving family.   What most people can’t imagine, is...

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Deciding to Leave a Marriage

There may be some red flags and early signs of irreconcilable issues along the way, but even so … the decision to dissolve a marriage is a very tough one.  Many people choose to stay and only find resolution when the spouse they’ve been with for so long thinking of leaving, up and leaves them first.

Retirement And “Survival” After A Gray Divorce

Over the last few years, one trend in divorce has firmly taken root. Baby Boomers are divorcing at double the rate of other groups. As our life expectancies lengthen, our attitudes about divorce evolve. And while it’s not still rapidly increasing quite as much, Boomer...
Can a Divorce Mediator Really Be Neutral?

Can a Divorce Mediator Really Be Neutral?

YES! A divorce Mediator can easily stay neutral because they are trained to be sympathetic to the needs of both parties. Mediators focus on each individual's issues, surrounding the matters most important to them. Concerns such as child custody and time-sharing,...

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A Few Common Money Mistakes in Divorce

A Few Common Money Mistakes in Divorce

For most people, the divorce process is emotionally draining and mentally exhausting. It can be a time of feeling frozen, numb, or moving in circles. But despite those feelings, you will be expected to go through your finances with a fine-tooth comb to ensure that...

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Are All Mediators the Same? Nope.

Are All Mediators the Same? Nope.

Some Mediators find themselves uncomfortable with what is being called mediation in their own and other areas. In addition, many clients are confused about what they will get if they go to mediation. Styles of mediation vary greatly and can significantly impact the...

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Five Priorities For When Your Divorce Becomes Final

Five Priorities For When Your Divorce Becomes Final

After an emotional roller coaster, you have FINALLY received that 8 ½ by 11 manila envelope containing your Final Judgement/Divorce Decree, signed by the judge. You are officially a single person once again. You may celebrate or you may mourn, BUT … it’s time to...

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Divorce Support You Should Not Do Without

Divorce Support You Should Not Do Without

Lost. Scared. Lonely. Shaken. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Relieved. Hopeful. These are just some of the stops along with the emotional roller coaster that is divorce. Divorce is not anything anyone should have to endure alone. It’s so common now that tons of resources are...

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We Are Open For Business!

During this COVID-19 outbreak, Sand Oak Divorce Solutions is fully operational. We are available to answer your divorce related financial questions, hold strategy sessions and financial mediations, assist you in navigating your divorce, and provide post-divorce advice...

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START WITH A FREE DOWNLOAD:

The Most Important Priorities In Your Divorce

Identify Your Priorities, Before Having Any Discussion With Your Spouse

Knowing your priorities will help you be confident in what to ask for, and what you can live without.

Worksheet My Priorities