What’s a man contemplating, or already in the middle of a divorce, to do? There seems to be multitudes of services that cater to helping women during this tough time. It’s true that women may need a little more emotional support and financial education during the process if their Husband had overseen the finances during the marriage. But the family finances may not always have been handled in this manner. Men can also struggle to find appropriate divorce-related resources that they need.
Even if you have managed your family finances for the entire marriage, you still need to be sure you understand the intricacies of all your financial and legal settlement options. In my experience collaborating with men, there are some common mistakes to avoid, that could ultimately save you some money!
Don’t think that all assets are totally yours, just because she wasn’t employed outside the home for a period of time.
Listen, if you have been married for a long time and your Wife was primarily a “stay-at-home Mom” during the marriage, I promise you she worked just as hard … if not harder … than you did. Everything you have accumulated together, you built as a team and you each deserve a fair share. Don’t get locked into this position and spend unnecessary marital funds on legal fees fighting over it. Accept it and strive for open and productive conversations around equitable division options. Working directly with a divorce financial specialist (CDFA® / Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®), Family Mediator, or in the Collaborative Team approach process could be beneficial.
Don’t refuse to give up retirement assets.
I see a lot of men that are extremely emotionally attached to pensions and retirement plans and will want to negotiate a settlement that lets them keep all those assets. Remember that both pension payments and pre-tax retirement asset distributions are generally counted as taxable income when you receive them. If you earned significantly more money than your spouse for most of your life, chances are you will always be in a higher tax bracket than her. Take advantage of this fact and adjust the division of retirement assets while considering both your income tax rates and all the assets available for consideration. This strategy can potentially save thousands of dollars in taxes.
Don’t be a bully.
Sometimes fear can show up in the negotiation process as anger, and I have seen men that make the mistake of thinking that being angry will somehow help the situation. That is just a bad, bad idea. In a particular moment, both of you may be scared and unsure about your financial future, while being under loads of stress. Work with a CDFA® that can incorporate future financial planning into your settlement negotiations and will allow everyone’s fears can be addressed fairly.
Ask for help.
The last tip I have for the fellas out here is to realize that you don’t know what you don’t know. Men are often motivated by saving money and may attempt to have a “do-it-yourself” divorce where they draw up their own paperwork. Another bad, bad, bad idea. There are so many curveballs, both financial and legal, in the divorce process that can save you thousands of dollars just by making sure that you cover all the bases and know the rules.
At Sand Oak Divorce Solutions, we want to help everyone facing divorce to have a kinder, gentler, much more affordable experience while preserving better future relationships with your ex and children.
Let us help you navigate all the financial aspects of your divorce with calm and confidence. Contact our office at (850) 252-6325, or go online to www.sandoakdivorcesolutions.com to schedule your free initial strategy session.
