A military divorce has unique challenges, and rushing in can lead to costly mistakes. Before making any big decisions, take time to get informed. Consult free legal help through the JAG, speak with experienced professionals, explore all your divorce process options, gather key military documents yourself, and understand the long-term value of military benefits. A thoughtful approach early on can protect your financial and legal future.
Every divorce has its own set of circumstances, but a Military Divorce can be particularly complicated, and it is easy to make costly mistakes early in the divorce process. If you are going through a military divorce, or just thinking about it, here are five common pitfalls to watch out for and how to avoid them:
1. Go Slow – Don’t Rush to Hire an Attorney to Represent You
One of the first mistakes people make is jumping straight into hiring a lawyer. Slow down. Take time to understand your divorce options first. If you are in the military or married to someone who is, you can meet with legal professionals through the base’s JAG (Judge Advocate General’s) office. While JAG attorneys can’t represent you in court, they can explain the basics of military divorce and point you toward resources or referrals. And the best part? It’s free.
2. Get Educated Before Making Agreements
Don’t start agreeing to who gets what before talking to the right professionals. Many couples try to sort things out on their own early, but that can backfire. Instead, talk to:
- A local Family Law Attorney (just for a consultation, you don’t necessarily need to hire them yet)
- A financial expert who understands military divorce
For example, as a retired Air Force officer and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, I help people understand how military pensions are divided, benefits that a Former Spouse may be entitled to, and which federal or state rules apply. This knowledge helps you have more confidence and make smarter decisions.
3. Understand Your Divorce Process Options
Most people think divorce only happens one way – hire a lawyer and go to court. But that’s not your only option. There are four major divorce processes:
- Litigation (traditional court battle)
- Mediation
- Collaborative Divorce
- DIY (Do It Yourself)
Each has pros and cons. The process you choose affects how much control you have over the process, your time, money, and stress level. I recommend attending an educational divorce workshop soon as you can to learn more.
4. Do Your Own Homework – Gather Military Records Yourself
Don’t rely on your spouse to provide the documents that you will need. Start collecting them on your own. These may include:
- DD-214 (if they’re already retired)
- Dates of rank or promotion
- Retirement Points statements (for reservists)
- Elections for the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP)
These records are important for understanding what you may be entitled to in the divorce. If you’re not sure where to start, a professional like me can help you track them down.
5. Know the Long – Term Value of Military Benefits
Timing and long-term value matter. Military pensions, like Social Security, provide monthly income that can last a lifetime. But you need to understand:
- How much is the pension worth?
- What happens to the pension if your spouse dies first?
- Are you eligible for continued healthcare?
- How long you must be married to qualify for certain benefits (like Social Security based on your spouse’s record)
These factors can make a huge difference in your financial future.
Here’s a quick recap of what to do before making big decisions in a military divorce:
- Go slow – get information before taking action.
- Get educated – talk to legal and financial professionals.
- Understand your divorce options – Litigation is not the only way.
- Do your homework – start gathering military documents now.
- Think long-term – understand the value and timing of military benefits.
Divorce is tough, but the right approach early on can help you protect your future.
Need help navigating the financial side of your military divorce? Call David Smith at (423) 305-6185. I’m here to help you make smart, informed decisions. David is retired from the U.S. Air Force and is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®. He can help you to find the answers you need as you go through the divorce process.
