divorce finances

What Military Spouses Need to Know About a Military Divorce

A military divorce has some unique considerations that differ from a civilian divorce.  An example of which is that in a military divorce, federal rules govern eligibility for a Former Spouse to lifetime medical care, which state courts cannot dictate. Also, federal...

Where Do I Start When Dividing Retirement Accounts in a Divorce?

One of the more complex parts of a divorce is the division of retirement accounts. Whether it's a military pension, IRA, or an employer-sponsored plan, the first steps are to list and confirm those accounts, determine when the accounts were opened, whose name they are...

Military Divorce: How Can I Keep My Dignity?

Divorce is always a challenging journey. For those in the military or married to someone in the military, divorce comes with its own set of unique considerations. Here are some tips to help military families navigate the divorce process with respect, open...

Divorce: What Is A QDRO? Why Do I Need One?

Divorce is a complex process. It's especially complex when dividing retirement plans. One essential element is the use of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order or QDRO. Let's delve into what a QDRO is, its significance in a divorce, and why it's an important part of...

Divorce: What About The House?

One of the most important decisions in a divorce is how to handle the house. For many couples this is the biggest asset in their family’s estate.  But before any decisions can be made it is important to gather a significant amount of background information.  This...

Is a Military Divorce Different?

A divorce that involves someone that is in the military or that has a military pension, encompasses some crucial elements that are different from a civilian divorce. These elements include the division of a current military pension when the service member is already...

Divorce and Your Retirement Funds

If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, one of the most common questions to be answered is “What’s this going to mean for my retirement funds, my pension, and my future lifestyle?”. To best answer this, start with having a clear understanding of your...

Collaborative Divorce

The unthinkable has happened- you or your spouse decided to pursue a divorce. Now what? It’s time for a long, contentious slog in court with fighting, bickering, and hefty fees, right?

What if there was another way – private, non-adversarial, potentially less costly, and much better for your family as a whole? Going to court is not the only way to get through a divorce. In fact, there are a few ways to avoid costly court divorces. Let’s take a look at one of them – the Collaborative Divorce Process to see if it’s a right fit for you.

The “Frozen Benefits” Rule

In an effort to standardize benefit divisions and “simplify” military divorces, Congress enacted the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 (NDAA 17). The new rule applies to those service members still serving (active-duty, National Guard, or Reserves), divorced after December 23rd, 2016, and is known as the “Frozen Benefit Rule” … which made divorce much more complicated for all parties involved.

The Gray Divorce Podcast – Military Divorce with Special Guest David Smith (Lt. Col. ret.)

Military Divorce is a different creature than civilian divorce and has a particular set of rules and regulations, as might befit the military! On this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast Andrew Hatherley and I untangle the various rules and benefits that apply to couples in military divorce.

Retirement and “Survival” After A Gray Divorce

Retirement and “Survival” After A Gray Divorce

Over the last few years, one trend in divorce has firmly taken root. Baby Boomers are divorcing at double the rate of other groups. As our life expectancies lengthen, our attitudes about divorce evolve. And while it’s not still rapidly increasing quite as much, Boomer...

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Divorce Financial Advice for Men

Divorce Financial Advice for Men

What’s a man contemplating, or already in the middle of a divorce, to do?  There seems to be multitudes of services that cater to helping women during this tough time. It’s true that women may need a little more emotional support and financial education during the process if their Husband had overseen the finances during the marriage. But the family finances may not always have been handled in this manner. Men can also struggle to find appropriate divorce-related resources that they need.

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A Few Common Money Mistakes in Divorce

A Few Common Money Mistakes in Divorce

For most people, the divorce process is emotionally draining and mentally exhausting. It can be a time of feeling frozen, numb, or moving in circles. But despite those feelings, you will be expected to go through your finances with a fine-tooth comb to ensure that...

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Step Five To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step Five To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step # 5 - How can I be creative, clever, and patient throughout the entire divorce process? Creative is an adjective meaning “relating to, or involving the imagination or original ideas to develop something different.” It also means “managed, so as to get around...

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Step Four To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step Four To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step # 4 – Decide to keep things business like, and to negotiate with a level head. Business like – “to carry out tasks efficiently without wasting time or being distracted by other concerns; systematic and practical”. Level headed – “being calm and sensible,...

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Step Three To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step Three To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step # 3 - Answer this key question for yourself: What do I want going forward for our divorce and future to look like, for me and my spouse? Process options include: 1. Kitchen table negotiations (go it alone, with no legal or financial advice) - You both resolve all...

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Step Two To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step Two To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step # 2 – Write down detailed answers to this question…“What do I need in the form of a roof over my head, liquid cash, future retirement dollars, types of insurance coverage, and lump sum and / or ongoing financial support for myself and my children?” After first...

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Step One To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step One To Financially Prepare For Your Divorce

Step #1 – Understand your current financial reality. Where are you today…financially? When you are just entering the divorce process, it’s critical to be certain of what you own, what you owe, all of your sources of income (earn), and what you spend. This may feel...

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The Most Important Priorities In Your Divorce

Identify Your Priorities, Before Having Any Discussion With Your Spouse

Knowing your priorities will help you be confident in what to ask for, and what you can live without.

Worksheet My Priorities